Your Personal Values & Blind Spots Drive Your Leadership Behaviour

In this episode of the Leaders Who Coach™ Podcast, I explore one of the most foundational parts of coach-leadership: understanding your personal values and blind spots.

This matters because how you lead is not only shaped by your skills, experience or job title.

It is shaped by what you value.
What you protect.
What you react to.
What you miss.
What you do without realising the impact it has on others.

Your values and blind spots sit underneath your leadership behaviour every day. They influence how you respond in moments of pressure, how you show care, how you use language, how you react when you do not have the answer and whether you seek facts or make emotional interpretations in a crisis.

That makes them worth knowing.
Properly.

Values guide how we show up

I think of personal values as the principles, beliefs and attitudes that guide our decisions, our actions and our behaviour. They come from our upbringing, culture and life experiences. They influence what feels right, what feels wrong, what gives us energy and what knocks us off balance.

When our values are honoured, we often feel more grounded. Someone recognises our contribution. A boss understands why something mattered to us. A team member responds in a way that fits with how we believe things should work. There is harmony. And we draw energy from that.

When our values are compromised, something feels off. We may feel irritated, defensive, emotional, anxious or unsettled, sometimes before we have words for why. That is why values are so useful. They give leaders a shorthand for understanding themselves.

Blind spots are missed opportunities

Blind spots are the things we do or say that affect other people, without us always realising.

Talking over someone.
Finishing their sentences incorrectly.
Checking a phone while they are speaking.
Missing a shift in their body language.
Giving advice when they needed space to think.

These may seem small. But in leadership, small moments matter. They are often the moments where trust is built or damaged. When leaders are not fully present, they miss valuable information. A body shift, a micro-expression, a hesitation or a change in energy may tell them something important about the person in front of them.

Coach-leaders need presence. Blind spots get in the way of that.

Why values and blind spots matter in coach-leadership

Coach-leadership requires leaders to work in partnership with their people. That means supporting them, inspiring their growth and helping them achieve their fullest potential. But leaders cannot do that well if they do not understand themselves.

Knowing your values helps you make intentional decisions that honour what you stand for. Knowing your blind spots helps you catch the behaviours that may undermine your values. That is where consistency begins. And consistency matters because people need to know where they stand with you.

Not boring predictability.
Useful predictability.

The kind where your team knows how you are likely to respond when something goes wrong. They know you will listen. They know you will seek facts. They know you will not humiliate them, dismiss them or take over without understanding the situation.

That predictability builds safety. And safety builds trust.

Your values can also become blind spots

One of the strongest parts of the episode is Sehaam’s exploration of how values can tip into blind spots. A value is not automatically positive in every situation. It depends how it shows up.

Take achievement. Achievement can bring drive, confidence and a sense of accomplishment. But if failure feels shameful or dreadful to a leader, that leader may react harshly when a direct report makes a mistake. They may become impatient with people who need more time, detail or accuracy. The value is not the problem. The unexamined behaviour around the value may be.

The same applies to ambition. Ambition can create focus, energy and a desire to do meaningful work. But it can also become single-mindedness. A leader may push too hard, move too fast or leave too little space for others to contribute. That is why coach-leaders need curiosity. Not only about other people.

About themselves.

The same value can mean different things

Another important theme is that the same value can mean very different things to different people.For one leader, family may mean responsibility and being the breadwinner. For another, it may mean inclusion, trust, warmth and connection. For another, it may mean that none of the work matters if home life is not happy. Same word, different meaning. This is why leaders should not assume they know what someone means when they name a value.

A coach-leader asks:

  • “What does that mean for you?”

  • “How does that show up?”

  • “What happens when that value is compromised?”

  • “What do you need in order to honour that value well?”

That kind of conversation helps leaders understand the person, not just the word.

Values reveal motivation

When leaders understand the values of their team members, they begin to understand what motivates them.

For one person, it may be quality.
For another, independence.
For another, family.
For another, humour, teamwork, prosperity, growth or truth.

This matters because motivation is not one-size-fits-all. A leader who values teamwork may love big group sessions and collaborative energy. A team member who values independence or deep focus may need time alone before they can contribute well. Neither is wrong. But without understanding the difference, both can misread each other.

Values help leaders see what is underneath behaviour. That makes the relationship easier to navigate.

The awkward value: prosperity

I also explore a value that people can sometimes feel a little awkward about naming: prosperity. Or similar words like wealth and success. Some people feel uncomfortable saying they want to be wealthy or financially independent. But when explored more deeply, this value is often about freedom, security, family and being able to care for loved ones.

That matters.

Because when people judge a value too quickly, they miss the story underneath it. Someone who values prosperity may not be shallow or materialistic. They may have grown up with financial insecurity. They may want to protect their family from struggle. They may want the freedom to spend more time with the people they love.

Again, the word is only the start. The meaning is where the real understanding lives.

We compromise our own values too

An important part of this episode is the reminder that our values are not only compromised by other people.

We compromise them too.

We may do this when we are uncertain about our leadership style.
When we are working in a culture that feels out of sync.
When we are stressed, overloaded or under pressure.
When we are trying to prove ourselves.
When we are speaking publicly, delivering something important or managing conflict.

In these moments, we may behave in ways that do not reflect who we are when we are calm and grounded.

We may become defensive.
We may overreact.
We may shut down.
We may misread someone’s intention.
We may take a clarifying question as a personal attack.

That inconsistency can damage trust.

Values help us catch ourselves

When leaders know their values, they have a practical way to pause before responding.

They can ask:

  • “Does what I’m about to say honour my values?”

  • “Am I about to undermine myself?”

  • “Which value feels compromised here?”

  • “How am I compromising it?”

  • “Who else or what else is compromising it?”

These questions can help leaders find clarity much faster.

Instead of wrestling with a situation for days or losing sleep over why something felt wrong, they can identify the value at play and choose a more intentional response. That is the power of self-awareness. It gives you a moment of choice.

Blind spots can be changed

The hopeful part of blind spots is that once you know them, you can do something about them.

You can slow down.
You can put the phone away.
You can ask rather than advise.
You can notice who has gone quiet.
You can invite someone back into the conversation.
You can pause before reacting.
You can ask others how they would like to plan or work.

These are small shifts. But they change the experience people have of you. At work and at home. And over time, those small shifts can build more trust, warmth and connection.

Final reflection

This episode is a reminder that leadership behaviour does not come from nowhere. It comes from what we value, what we fear, what we protect and what we do not yet see about ourselves.

Personal values help us understand what matters most.
Blind spots help us notice where our behaviour may be getting in the way.
Together, they give us a clearer view of how we show up.

For coach-leaders, that clarity is essential. Because the more consistently we show up, the more people trust us. The more people trust us, the more they open up, think deeply, take ownership and grow. Knowing your values is not a soft exercise. It is a leadership tool.

And knowing your blind spots is not about judging yourself harshly. It is about giving yourself the chance to lead with more intention, more consistency and more care.