What Your Direct Reports Really Want From You

In this episode of the Leaders Who Coach™ Podcast,I introduce the WHO Energy Model, a simple but powerful way for leaders to understand what is really happening in a conversation with a direct report.

At the heart of the model is this idea: your direct report needs to feel safe enough to think, speak honestly and move themselves from a negative headspace into a more positive, capable one.

That does not happen when leaders rush in with answers.It does not happen when leaders judge, interrupt or take over. It happens when leaders slow down, listen properly and put the person in front of them at the centre of the conversation.

Put the person at the centre

The WHO Energy Model helps leaders focus on who their direct report is being in the moment.

Are they confident?
Are they doubtful?
Are they avoiding something?
Are they disconnected?
Are they overwhelmed?
Are they trying to protect themselves from feeling incompetent?

When a direct report is in a difficult headspace, they may not be able to access their best thinking. They may know what needs to be done somewhere underneath the noise, but their confidence, values or emotional connection to the work may be compromised.

When leaders place the person’s need to think, unpack their thoughts and understand what matters to them at the centre of the conversation, they are better able to ask the questions that help that person move from a negative state of mind to a more positive one.

That shift matters because from a more positive state, people are far more able to mobilise themselves.

Willing accountability starts with ownership

A central message in this episode is that accountability works best when people have emotional attachment to the action they are taking. If a leader tells someone exactly what to do, the person may comply.

But compliance is not the same as ownership.

Willing accountability comes when the direct report helps design the solution, approach or next steps. They understand it. They have shaped it. They can see why it matters. That creates a stronger commitment to follow through.

This is why coach-leadership is so powerful. The leader is not stepping away from accountability. They are helping the person build it from the inside out.

What gets in the way?

There are three pressure points that make it difficult for leaders to put the person at the centre of the conversation:

Ego.
Uncomfortable feelings.
An unrelenting sense of urgency.

These are very human.

A leader’s ego may want to be right, know the answer, protect their reputation or move quickly to the solution. Uncomfortable feelings may make both people avoid what is really going on. And urgency can push the leader into the fastest fix: telling the person what to do or taking over completely.

None of this is unusual. But it does get in the way. When leaders react from these pressure points, they can unintentionally stop their direct reports from thinking, opening up or taking ownership.

Your urgency may be blocking their growth

One of the strongest points in this episode is the reminder that urgency often makes leaders do the heavy lifting.

A team member brings a problem.

It feels late.
It feels inconvenient.
It feels like it comes with consequences.
It feels like one more thing the leader has to fix.

So the leader moves quickly.

They tell.
They solve.
They take over.
They push for action before understanding what is really happening.

In the short term, this may feel efficient. But in the long term, it keeps the direct report dependent on the leader. It also misses the deeper opportunity: helping the person understand their own thinking, reconnect with their capability and decide what they will do next.

Slowing down is not wasting time. Sometimes it is the fastest route to real ownership.

Who positive and who negative

The WHO Energy Model describes two broad states: who positive and who negative.

A person in a who positive state is more connected to their values, confident in their contribution and emotionally committed to the work. They have more clarity. They can make decisions more easily. They know what they need to do.

A person in a who negative state may feel disconnected, doubtful, confused, defensive or emotionally detached. Their thoughts may feel tangled. Their options may seem unclear. Their confidence may be low. We all move between these states. Sometimes several times in a day.

A five-minute exchange can shift us from feeling capable to feeling unsettled. A piece of feedback, a rejection, a difficult meeting or an unexpected problem can pull someone quickly into a who negative state.

The leader’s role is not to judge that state. It is to notice it. Then meet the person where they are.

Simple questions build trust

The episode also includes practical guidance on asking better questions. Sehaam reminds leaders to keep questions succinct, avoid stacking several questions together, let go of loaded or leading language, avoid dead-end questions where possible and pay attention to tone, especially with “why” questions.

This is such practical advice because questions can either open a conversation or close it down. A short, clear question gives someone room to think. A stacked or loaded question can scramble their thinking, make them defensive or push them towards the answer the leader already prefers.

Leaders who coach do not need complicated questions. They need clean, simple questions asked with patience and care.

Questions that help someone get unstuck

When a direct report is frustrated, doubtful or confused, the leader can use questions to help them understand what is going on underneath the surface.

For example:

  • “What’s important here for you?”

  • “Which of your values is being compromised here?”

  • “What’s the hardest aspect you’re facing right now?”

  • “How have you overcome gaps like that before?”

These questions do not dismiss the feeling. They help the person examine it. That matters because when people are stuck, they often need help separating the facts, feelings, assumptions and fears that have become tangled together.

A good question can help them find the first thread.

Acknowledge big feelings without letting them take overss

One of the most useful parts of the episode is the balance around feelings. Leaders should not deny or rush past a direct report’s feelings. But they are also not there simply to let someone rant endlessly. The conversation still needs structure.

A leader might say:

  • “I can see you’re feeling quite disconnected, and it’s understandable given what you’ve been going through.”

Then they can hold the space for the person to talk, repeat themselves, contradict themselves and unpack what is going on. But that space needs to be held with purpose. The aim is not to dwell in the feeling forever.

The aim is to help the person move through it and find a clearer way forward.

Meet them where they are

The final message of the episode is deeply practical: meet your direct report where they are, not where you wish they were. When leaders push people to be ready before they are ready, they can unintentionally discount the person’s reality. That can make people dig in harder, shut down or lose trust.

Coach-leadership asks for something different.

Accept where they are.
Listen for what matters.
Ask a simple question.
Let them think.
Do not rush to rescue.
Do not talk over their thoughts.
Do not make their feelings wrong.

That is how trust is built.

Final reflection

This episode is a reminder that what direct reports often want most is not a perfect answer from their leader.

They want space to think.

They want to be heard without being judged.
They want help untangling what feels difficult.
They want to reconnect with their capability.
They want to feel trusted enough to design their own next steps.

That does not remove accountability. It strengthens it.

When leaders learn to quiet their ego, stay with discomfort a little longer and slow down the conversation, they create the conditions for people to move from stuck to capable. And that is one of the most useful gifts a coach-leader can offer.